


Brother

by Masseffic



Category: Mass Effect - All Media Types, Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: Family, Gen, Pre-Mass Effect 1
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-09
Updated: 2018-08-09
Packaged: 2019-06-24 10:37:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 578
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15628902
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Masseffic/pseuds/Masseffic
Summary: Saren was possessed; possessed by some furious spirit that would’ve stepped into his path, looked him in the eye and said “I see you, Desolas.”





	Brother

Desolas had tattoos.

Young, petty, and running absent fingers over his own naked faceplates, Saren had already decided he disliked him for that reason alone the minute he was old enough to recognize him: this distant bastion of the turian ideal, taller than him, darker than him, fresh off a battle with no name and walking down the docking bay through a parting metal sea of infuriatingly deferent men. A sea one lone whelp like himself could be easily lost in, held in line by the discreet, yet unwavering talon of his father at the back of his arm.

Almost like a restraint. As if he knew.

There was no room in the Hierarchy for wild impulses – a lesson turians his age had just begun to learn – and yet, watching Desolas come up the way with those dead, shaded eyes fixed on spires in the sky, Saren felt possessed; possessed by some furious spirit that would’ve stepped into his path, looked him in the eye and said “I see you, Desolas.”

It was nonsensical, powerful enough to close his hand into a fist and square his shoulders. Saren didn’t understand it, didn’t like it, yet couldn’t stop it from rising to his gizzard as Desolas approached, choking him when he drew near enough for him to see the scratches in the silver of his armor.

Then, suddenly, Desolas stopped.

And when Desolas stopped, _everything_ did.

His eyes roved over the crowd – not high among the eyes of the initiated, but low among the young – with a light that had not been present before. It had less in common with a star or fire, and more with a tunnel; a single white spot in an unmoving darkness through which to see.

Desolas found Saren. Found him and simply looked, still and silent. A hundred more eyes, once on the procession, looked with him.

The spirit had gone as quickly as it had come. Saren’s heart, without his bidding, clambered into his throat and beat so fast, so hard that he could count every vein in his own body, and he could hardly feel his father’s hand tightening into an angry vice around his upper arm.

For all its strange fervency, it was a steadying touch; comforting. It made him feel like --

Like he could _hide._ Like he could lower his eyes and back into the crowd where he could not be seen or heard; not by Desolas, not by anyone. Saren _wanted_ to hide, and - worst of all - Desolas must have known. A man with eyes like that had to know. He might have even expected it.

Saren felt sick – disgusted with himself. He shrugged his father’s hand away. His father did not put it back.

_You’re wrong._

Saren shut his mandibles and raised his head. He stared into the void, bore into it, dared to take it into himself and live to hurl it right back.

_I see you._

Desolas twitched a mandible. It was as if to say, "yes - I see you, too."

But that was childish. Wishful thinking.

Then, on a steady toe, Desolas turned away. He turned away, walked, and he did not look back.

Saren could breathe again.

The sun had just risen over the rooftops. Desolas’s shadow stretched in its wake, all the way down the path his men had made for him. As Saren watched it sink through the next door, he felt something alien. Invigorating.

He wanted to go with him.

**Author's Note:**

> I find Saren one of the most interesting characters in the entire trilogy, even though his time as part of Mass Effect's story was tragically short-lived. Exploring extra media about him just raises all kinds of questions about his life, and one of the most captivating to me by far is his relationship with his late brother. This is a first take on it at a whim; a short and sweet peek into Saren's earlier years. 
> 
> Bumps and all, I hope you enjoyed it!


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